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Sunday, August 11th, 2002
11:45 am
I'm going to close glomp.

I thought for a long time. How the internet isn't like it used to be. It's not full of wonder anymore. Just shallowness and bitching. I'm scared to be myself. You know what I read on a website today? A girl said she hates people with curly hair. She didn't ask why. Now I'm scared to do anything. I know I'll get ridiculed.

I sit at the computer and do nothing. I'm wasting my life. Thats why Glomp is going...

going....

...gone.

(5 words | tell it like it is)

Saturday, August 3rd, 2002
3:07 pm
*sigh*

Well, I've been too busy to even care about the computer lately. I've been working really hard on the layouts. Gah, it's all _too_ hard. I don't know anymore. And I can't make up my mind. I sort of want to turn it into a junk site, and have all my stories on FF.net. It's too hard, and whatever I do, I end up HATING.

(1 word | tell it like it is)

Saturday, July 27th, 2002
12:38 pm
hi again everyone. not much to say. my life has been so boring lately. and I'm sick of making crummy layouts :\ ack. so I'm going to go back to basics. VERY BASIC BASICS. like, a picture and a table and some other stuff ^_^'' Lets face it, I have next to no design skills. *closes her brush window*

Netball today sucked. we were a draw, the ball was at our end, Monique going for a shot when the siren rang. ack! I was furious!! but I accepted defeat gracefully. Yay.

I also want to rename my site o_o I don't like glomp. It's been so hard for me to find a site name that I like and want to keep. I've been through... unh... whitestars, shattered chrimson, digital song, shattered, out of the ordinary, simplicity, the glomp network and glomp. ack... I daresay I'll change it this time. I want something simple, though... I want Hidden Potential, but a) that's too long and b) I want hidden-potential.net as my domain.

so I can think for awhile. I want something meaningful (to me) but simple, like one word or two short ones.

oh god, it's too complicated! But I'm not Glomp anymore... I just don't think it suits me as much as I would like. I want something short and sweet.

(8 words | tell it like it is)

Monday, July 22nd, 2002
5:34 pm - funny...
Kaworu: =D=D I'M GONNA DIE NOW!! =D=D=D=D says:
I like music from the seventies.
I like this, it has shiny knobs says:
Ugh, I hate music from the seventies!
Kaworu: =D=D I'M GONNA DIE NOW!! =D=D=D=D says:
why, jessica??
I like this, it has shiny knobs says:
because the seventies were hipees!
Kaworu: =D=D I'M GONNA DIE NOW!! =D=D=D=D says:
Hipees? Oh, Hippies.
I like this, it has shiny knobs says:
I like music from the sixties. it rockz!!
Kaworu: =D=D I'M GONNA DIE NOW!! =D=D=D says:
>_< I have to go have lunch.
Kaworu: =D=D I'M GONNA DIE NOW!! =D=D=D says:
I'll cya later Jezza
I like this, it has shiny knobs says:
Cya Babe

I conveniently forgot to mention that hippies were around in the sixties =) And I'm Kaworu, if you didn't guess.

(2 words | tell it like it is)

Saturday, July 20th, 2002
1:27 pm - things...

Memory. Freedom. Thoughts. Intellect.
Take the quiz.


i'm so confused at the moment! nina is being really strange to me at the moment. she takes over things that i like and never acknowledges it. she keeps teasing me about the fact that i like a different couple to her. i know she never even thinks of reading my journal. but she got mad at me because i got hosted at a domain. wtf. i don't know if i want her to be my best friend anymore... it seems like i have nothing in common with her anymore. she is going one way, i another.

i'm too scared of doing a long entry, for an odd reason. i guess i think it's cuz no-one will feel like reading it. in the end, i cut down my emotions and limit myself to something i want, but isn't. i wish more people would comment! but don't worry Rae-- all the conversations we have through commenting are good ;)

(2 words | tell it like it is)

Friday, July 19th, 2002
7:31 pm - thinking
I've thought about what I am on the internet.

To me, I think I'm Hannah; a girl, twelve, typical for a gamer of her age. Seeming to be obsessed with anime and gaming. Talented musician, good writer, happy, seemingly optimistic, crazy, glomptacular, boy-crazy.

But that isn't what I am. I'm just Hannah; someone who is confused sometimes, who wonders if she will survive, who has an obsessive nature, loves astronomy, and who adores writing. It's like ink flows through my veins instead of blood.

I haven't been myself. I've tried, but haven't. I will. I will keep trying, and I will succeed.

(4 words | tell it like it is)

Thursday, July 18th, 2002
1:26 pm - Sometimes...
Sometimes I wonder why my writing is always so depressing and angst-y.
This, of course, is no exception.

(Just Another Face)

I've become more accustomed to the darker side of the Harry Potter series.

Rae, feel better soon! =( <3

(1 word | tell it like it is)

Sunday, July 14th, 2002
6:12 pm
I have five journals. (count em) and five pens. I have:
  • A Fanfiction Journal, with one dracofic in it.
  • A random scribblings journal.
  • A long Harry Potter story one
  • One original story one
  • One which has what could possibly be the start of something great.

    woohoo.
  • (7 words | tell it like it is)

    Monday, July 8th, 2002
    11:55 pm - friends only.
    hi. this journal is now friends only (or friend only, huh rae? ^_^) I had to do this after a girl I know came across this and I was not happy at all. so thats why I made it friends only. add me and I'll add you. nuff said.

    (1 word | tell it like it is)

    Friday, July 5th, 2002
    8:43 pm - * space *
    w00tage w000tage w00tage...

    ***

    the hill of despair.
    how can i describe it?
    could i describe it in the voices that screamed in the background?
    or the colour of the clouds and the dirt and the sky?
    it made an impact on my soul, the colours, the sounds, the stench of death.
    was it a hell? was it limbo? or was it before time existed?
    whatever it was, as i stood on that hill,
    (and even now the memories of it fade)
    i can still remember the sounds
    and the sky
    but most of all
    i remember those voices
    sobbing and groaning
    as if they stroked my mind and left their mark

    ***

    I don't think any place in the gaming world has made more of a mark on my mind. How many people have been there? Alright, everyone who has beaten FF9 has seen it. Did it leave an impression? it did on me, I know I am stupid, I mean, this place doesn't exist.

    But it did make that lasting impression. Everlasting? Forever will these images, sights and sounds be stamped into my brAIN?

    Wonder why the eff it made such an impression??

    This Screenshot is of the characters lying on the hill...
    This Screenshot is of the final boss (they are the exact people in my party too!)

    (5 words | tell it like it is)

    8:43 pm - Something random and pointless
    w00tage w000tage w00tage...

    the hill of despair, how can I describe it?

    (tell it like it is)

    Wednesday, July 3rd, 2002
    8:44 pm - musing.
    is this all we have?

    i'll let myself be inspired before i pick up a pen again.

    (1 word | tell it like it is)

    Friday, June 28th, 2002
    3:57 pm - wai...
    lol... thanks rae, i actually put the wrong image in... but she looks wierd in all of them, ehh. oh well. and your picture really is fantastic.

    Fantastica is not coming along well at all >< It's really hard for me to make it interesting, and with good info. Some characters it's been hard for me to find even a morsel of information on. I've not been working much on it at ALL! I should do something... lots of stuff. it has potential, moreso than anything i have ever crafted online.

    current mood: crappy

    (1 word | tell it like it is)

    Thursday, June 27th, 2002
    7:31 pm - regret
    from the top to the bottom

    sorry i haven't updated forEVER ^_^'' emah... >< sorry but i've been busy. and not particularly inspired. plus i have been earning the money for the ps2 that i plan to buy soon.

    at the core i've forgotten

    http://garnet.nu/garnet/multi/gallery/ending_/ig_e_01.jpg is a scary image o_o is it just me or does Garnet look uncannily like a monkey? seriously, that image scares the sh*t outta me. find it hard to believe that it is from FF9. looks like crap.

    taken far from my safety

    everytime I see you 3, i feel rejected. not angry, as you think, not sad, nor jealous. it's like you picked me up, threw me down, stepped on me and laughed as i died.

    the pictures there

    you were my friend. the facade is there, holding up. you, a perfect person, with all your brains, looks and personality. you act like you are so good. i try to be nice.

    the memory won't escape me

    i'll always remember. you insult my intellegence more each day. but i take in more than anyone knows.

    ...but why should i care?

    current mood: depressed

    (1 word | tell it like it is)

    Wednesday, June 12th, 2002
    4:47 pm - ...sigh...
    Old tom is a cool TV show ^_^ very cute and funny, though unapealing to many a' person.

    I wrote a beautiful opening paragraph today. Oh, how did it go. When I get it back I shall write it. I think I'm in love.

    My mother read this secret (and st00pid) Harry Potter fanfic I wrote. I am not at all happy. I was furious. It's so terrible. It goes too fast, the characters are barely controllable, and they aren't very deep.

    I am my own worst critic.

    (tell it like it is)

    Sunday, June 9th, 2002
    10:11 am - goodbye...
    Neopets is out of my life now...

    Saying Goodbye

    Chibz, Allie, Cookie and Iri were all sitting by the fireplace, playing checkers. Well, Allie and Cookie were; Iri was warming her feet and Chibz was writing in her journal.
    Dear Diary, I don't think Zelphie is coming back. She hasn't been herself, and I don't know what to do. What will she do, leave us by ourselves for all eternity, stuck in limbo?
    Suddenly the door was flung open and Zelphie walked in. She held a bottle in her hands and it shone with a radient purple light. She looked up at her pets, who had a sad look on their faces. "Where were you?" questioned Cookie. "We have been so worried and lonely." her eyes were reproachful, and it broke Zelphie's heart. "I am sorry." she placed the bottle on the table and opened it. The faerie queen, small but still striking, flew out, and landed carefully on the checkers board. Iri gave a horrified squeal and put her paws over her mouth. "Y-y-your highness!" she squeaked.
    "Yes, children." she said quietly. "I come from Faerieland to save you. Your owner is choosing to leave neopia forever, never to return. She asked me to change you, to turn you into spirits, something that shall never die. Cookie," she said. "You are to become a noble dragon, free to fly around in this world. You are not an animal, you will exist as something else. Iridescence." she turned to the frightened Cybunny. "You will be a Faerie, and rule alongside my Earthen counterparts." she waved aside Iri's gasps of thanks and looked at Allie. She pursed her lips. "You will become a human. One who will reside only in the mind of Zelphie."
    Allie gasped, but bowed her head. She knew this was her fate, and it killed her to know it. The Faerie Queen saw her tears and added kindly, "It is only because you are too smart, and your brain is too advanced to be released to the world."
    Allie nodded, still trying to swallow the tears. She would be an idea. Never really existing.
    Finally the queen turned to Chibz. "You, my dear, will be revered once you are gone. You will be a muse, helping Zelphie and guiding her. You will take the form of a small pink puff." when she saw the look on Chibi's face, she added thoughtfully, "We have looked inside your spirit. This is the way it has to be."
    Zelphie hugged all her pets. it was the last time they would be neopets. From now on they would be different, simpler. She hugged Allie the longest, for she was to be only a memory.
    "You will do better things than you believed. I promise."

    The faerie queen did Cookie first. There was a flash of golden light, and the young Shoyru began to change. She was a noble white dragon and she gazed at them. The Faerie Queen patted her and Cookie disappeared in a flash of light.
    Then, Iri. The Faerie Queen smiled as a trail of long, blue threads flew out the end of her wand and wrapped around the nervous, but determined looking cybunny. It engulfed her, shrunk, and disappeared with a small pop, leaving blue bubbles floating about the room, bumping into things and popping in a shower of golden sparks.
    Allie gave a sad sniff and hugged Zelphie tighter than ever. "I'm sorry. For being so stuck up." then she turned to the Faerie Queen and took a deep breath. Then the Faerie picked Allie up and muttered something under her breath. Suddenly Allie turned into a whisp of grey, slighly transparent smoke. She flew into Zelphie's head, and was gone. Zelphie put a hand to her head and sighed. "Poor 'leisha."
    Chibz turned to Zelphie. "Are you sure this is right?"
    "I hope so. Nothing has been going right for me lately." she hugged Chibz. "It has been fun, hasn't it. All this time we spent together."
    chibz said nothing. "Tell Syri I will always be there for him. he loves me... I hope." and with those words, shimmered and disappeared in a pink cloud.
    "Where is she?" Zelphie asked the queen, feeling sadness overcome her. "Is she gone?" at that moment the doorbell rang.
    "That will be her now. She has no memory of you, or the life she lived before. She has memories of Aishaberry, but otherwise, she is no more." the Faerie queen turned to the fire.
    "Neopets is a dangerous place now, but you are not leaving your pets behind forever. This is only the beginning." and with that she was gone. The doorbell rang again. Zelphie gave a nervous, shaky sigh and went to open it. She looked down and saw a small furry pink ball huddled on the ground. It looked up at her, and it's eres widened. "e-e-excuse me..." it said. "My name is Chibi... I think I was supposed to come and meet you."
    Zelphie nodded. "Yeah. We better go." she scooped up the little pink blob and ran, before the house blew up and all her time on Neopian soil was erased.

    current mood: sad

    (tell it like it is)

    Saturday, June 8th, 2002
    9:04 am
    no inspiration. no nothing. just half formed ideas, floating around in my head.
    I want to be a writer. I mean that.

    (3 words | tell it like it is)

    Friday, June 7th, 2002
    9:25 pm
    dreams decay,
    like autumn leaves in the golden sunlight,
    burns through them,
    engulfs my eyes.
    sun pours into my mind.
    into my mind.
    then it ends.
    Now.

    My mind is burning in the light.
    My only salvation is the night.



    ... can't believe i just wrote that. i love it and oh god-- i am so big headed.

    current mood: surprised

    (1 word | tell it like it is)

    Wednesday, June 5th, 2002
    5:55 pm

    18

    I act like I'm 18.
    This test was brought to you by Rchel - Bringing you socks, and the Rchel Army. Take it here.





    *huggles Lindz* glad you're better. Dunno if I am.

    I really want to write a Harry/Draco fic... oh well. *shrugs* Of course, I'll get flamed for my opinions... but I'm sick of the usual couples.

    DOn't ask about my current mood.

    current mood: angry

    (tell it like it is)

    Tuesday, June 4th, 2002
    8:40 pm
    WE LOVE YOU LINDZ! I'd write you something... but I can't think of anything. Just remember, you're a wonderful person, and I am so glad I got to meet you. Your life begins... NOW!

    I got hosted at Kinoku.net. Maybe I'll post why I left delipcious someday. I'm making the coming soon image. it's fun. and the leaving images. they look great, really fantastical.

    current mood: good

    (tell it like it is)

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